My Testimony
© 2003 - Present - Phyllis D. Jolliff
God Moves in the Mountains (My Salvation)
I was raised in church.
In fact, my dad was a preacher, so I was in church for every service
unless I was sick. And I had to be
extremely sick to be able to miss! But
being raised to believe in God and having a personal relationship with God are
two very different things. Oh, I
believed in God, don’t get me wrong. I
even prayed…especially before going to sleep at night. I had the head knowledge, but not the heart
knowledge. I even managed to play the
part of a good little preacher’s daughter.
After all, I had spent many years perfecting my act.
When I was eighteen years old, I left home to go to a
Christian college. Not that I was a
Christian, but I went there just to make my parents happy about me leaving
home. I even lied on my application to
get in because I had to write an essay about how I became a Christian. But I had to get away from home, yet didn’t
want to hurt my parents. So Christian
college it had to be.
Just
after school started, there was an All-School Retreat up in the mountains. I had already made several friends, and knew
the weekend in the mountains was going to be a blast. I had no idea. My new friends...were Christians. True Christians. They believed in the power of God. They believed He could heal. They took, quite literally, Matthew 18:19-20
where Jesus says, "Again, I tell
you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be
done for you by my Father in heaven. For
where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." So they planned to meet before every chapel
service to pray for the service, each other, and just about everything they
could think of.
Well, guess what. They thought I needed to join them. Whether they somehow knew that I was running
from God in my heart, I may never know.
But God used the fact that I had lied about being a Christian to get me
right smack dab in the middle of a very enthusiastic group of young Christian
women. God knew what He was doing. My friends expected me to be there. They expected me to join them in sincere
prayer. They expected me to believe with
them for the things they were praying about.
I couldn’t tell them “no.” I
couldn’t tell them at this point that I wasn’t the Christian I said that I
was. I couldn’t let them see through my
façade. So I joined them.
We prayed for everything! We named off every person we could think of,
and then added the extras of which we didn’t know their names. We prayed for the moving of the Spirit in the
services and in each of our lives. And
somewhere in those prayers, God got through to my heart, and to my head. Somewhere during those prayers, the Holy
Spirit moved in my soul, and I quit running…began to surrender to God’s
will. Then I began to see the miracles.
One of the girls in our group had been on a
certain medication most of her life, and according to doctors would have to be
on it for the rest of her life. She
hated taking this medication. She didn’t
want to have to rely on this medication to keep her functioning. So we prayed.
We gathered around this friend in the middle of the amphitheater, laid
hands on her, and prayed for her healing from this major medical problem and
deliverance from the dependency on this medication. God heard our prayers. God answered.
Last I heard, she never had to go back to that medication. God had completely healed her. My feeling was that God had listened to ‘my
prayer.’ I didn’t understand why He
would listen to me, but He had. And He
had healed my friend.
If you think that got us excited, you are
absolutely correct! After that, we met
every chance we had to pray. Our prayers
became more intense, more fervent. We
meant to get to the heart of God. We
each knew of needs and we prayed for them.
We prayed more diligently for the lives of each person attending that
retreat. We were bound as one in our
desire to see God move in those mountains.
When Saturday afternoon came and we met once
again in the amphitheater to pray for the next service, the presence of God was
real. He spoke to each one of us with
the same urging to go into the chapel and anoint the chairs, the instruments,
the altar, and even the doors with oil.
So we moved together to fulfill that urging of the Spirit.
Once in the chapel, we got the oil and again
prayed together for God’s leading. Then
we dispersed as we felt led to go and anoint different areas of the
chapel. Some started anointing the
chairs. Others began with the podium and
instruments. At least one anointed the
door frame and door handle, praying for each soul that entered, and rebuking
satan in the process.
Most of the others had finished the
anointing, and were on their knees in various places, pouring their hearts out
to God. I was walking at the back of the
chapel, heading toward the doors, my head down, my eyes closed. I was still about fifteen to twenty feet from
the tall, white double doors when I felt and heard the urging to look up at the
doors. The sight I beheld stopped me in
my tracks. I saw two angels, one on each
side of the double doors. They were more
beautiful than mere words can begin to express.
Their robes were a brighter white than I had ever seen. Their hair seemed to be a cross between
golden and brilliant white. I was not
able to make out their facial features, only the glow. A glow so intense it was almost
blinding. They held long swords crossed
in front of the doors. I heard the Lord
speak softly to me, “No evil shall enter here.
My children are safe.” My
reaction? Simply, “WHOA!” Then the vision disappeared. I dropped to my knees and surrendered
everything to my Lord.
What lasted only seconds has remained burned
in my memory for many years. My life was
forever changed that weekend. I
surrendered, and God showed me His glory.
Do I still have struggles? Of
course I do! Jesus said in John 16:33
that in this world we will have trouble.
But I hold to what I saw that September evening. For I believe that God’s message to my spirit
was not merely speaking of that chapel, nor just that night. I believe He was speaking of my life…of your
life. He has given His angels charge
over us. We are His children. So when I am troubled…when you are
troubled…remember the words God spoke.
“No evil shall enter here. My
children are safe.”
Let God move in your mountains!
My God is Amazing (My Healing)
Some of you know how this journey began, but for those who
don’t, I’ll give the background story.
In October 2006, I broke the scaphoid bone in my left wrist and had to
have a screw put in the bone. After a
few months of sickening pain and therapy, I found out the screw had been put in
wrong…which caused more damage and a nervous system disorder called Reflex
Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD). Three more
surgeries by a hand specialist (removing 3 small bones and all the nerves in my
wrist) and countless hours of physical therapy later, there was nothing more
they could do. The constant pain
continued, and I had lost almost all use of my left hand…which had been my
dominant hand for almost 40 years. I had
to learn how to be right-handed, pretty much one-handed. The RSD caused muscle/bone deterioration,
constant burning (sometimes stabbing) pain, and deformity. My mask of “calm, cool, and collected” began
to slip a little because I couldn’t hide this pain, but God gave me emotional
and spiritual strength every day I would let Him…and checked me every time I
let my pride keep me from asking for or accepting help. There were many days when “poor me” was all I
could manage, but my perspective began to change as I thanked God that I still
had a hand…I’m just vain enough to want it there even if it looks funny and
hurts all the time.
In 2012, the RSD and all its loveliness spread throughout
my body (inside and out), hitting my legs and all of my old injuries very
hard. Everything burned. Everything was weak. I couldn’t wear my normal clothes. It felt like my knees were on a swivel and
they refused to cooperate, making it impossible to walk without
assistance. I used walls and a cane just
to make it from one spot to the next in my house, fighting with every movement
not to fall. I learned the art of cane
dancing! I should have been in a
wheelchair a lot sooner than I was, but denial and pride wouldn’t allow it
until there was no choice. So I borrowed
a manual wheelchair that I couldn’t wheel around by myself because my left hand
didn’t work, but eventually got a power wheelchair. Almost every day, I would try to walk normally
down my hall where it was a bit safer, but my body wouldn’t cooperate. The hardest part was watching my husband
having to deal with me in that condition…he wanted to fix me, but
couldn’t. Sometimes I think he had the
harder battle, because I had peace. I’ve
always had faith that God could heal me, and would do so at His chosen time
(whether in this lifetime or the next).
I have always prayed for God’s will in this illness, that He would bless
others through it, and would give me strength to deal with the pain. Through all the rollercoaster of pain and
emotions, I became more spiritually steady than I had ever been! I can honestly say I knew God was in control
and had a plan. I truly learned that
“peace that passes all understanding.”
Monday night, May 20, 2013, the pain level rose to a point
that even the narcolepsy medicine I take at night to sleep couldn’t put me
out. I literally felt like I was going
to explode. I finally prayed, “Help
me.” I eventually got a little bit of
sleep, but was exhausted and hurting badly the next day.
Tuesday night, May 21, 2013, the pain level rose to the
same point as the night before, if not higher.
Again, I felt like I would literally explode. I couldn’t sleep. I dozed in and out, barely sleeping until I
got up to take the second dose of narcolepsy medicine. I sat in the bathroom in tears and prayed,
“God, I want Your will. You’ve given me
strength every day to deal with the pain.
But God, I can’t take this.
Please. I need relief. God, I want your will, but please take this
pain.” I went back to bed, still hurting
and still praying. I finally slept.
Wednesday morning I woke up, and my right shoulder was
killing! I couldn’t figure out why, since I had been sleeping on my left side,
as usual. I could barely move my right
arm. I picked up my cane, but couldn’t
put weight on it because my shoulder hurt so much, so leaned on it less and
used the walls to help. Later that day,
on one of my careful trips down the hall, I heard that soft urging voice say, “Try
it now.” So I tried. And for the first time in almost a year, my
legs moved correctly! The pace was very
slow, the cane sort of dragging on the floor.
I did that the rest of the afternoon, sitting to take a break
often. I still took my chair to church
that night. I think…no, I know…part of
me was fearful of falling…of failing. I
didn’t even tell Dave until that night after church.
Thursday morning, I carried my cane down the hall (shoulder
still hurting), got to the kitchen to get my coffee, and heard, “Really? Why are you carrying that cane around? What more do I have to do?” So I leaned the cane by the cabinet and
walked away with my coffee. All day I
walked around in the house without the use of the cane. The pace was still slow, but I was actually
walking. Each time fear of falling would
try to push in, that soft voice would whisper, “FAITH!” I would keep walking. At some point, I moved the cane to lean
against the couch, and started to grab it out of habit when I got up to do
something…and quickly threw it down in disgust with myself.
When I went to bed that night, I took the cane and leaned
it in the corner by the headboard where I put it every night. Friday morning I woke up, looked at the cane,
smiled and said out loud, “You can stay there!”
It’s still sitting there! Then,
while trying to figure out what to wear, I saw a pair of lightweight denim
jeans I hadn’t been able to wear without them causing great pain, and felt
urged to put them on. They didn’t
hurt! It was like I couldn’t sit still
that day! I had praise music on and
spent the day praising and worshipping and walking…in my jeans!!
So Sunday morning, the power wheelchair and the cane stayed
home…and I walked into church, up the three steps into the sound booth to run
the computer!! My God is AMAZING!!
But He didn’t stop there!
During one of the previous days I looked at my left hand,
and said, “God, I know this hand will never be the same, but thank You for
letting me walk.” Sunday afternoon, I
walked around in the garage while Dave cleaned and organized stuff in
there. I walked up and down the driveway
just because I could! I won’t say there
was absolutely no pain, because there was, but not the same. I felt urged at one point to try once again
to put my wedding ring on my left hand, something I hadn’t been able to do
since 2006 without causing immediate excruciating pain that would last for
days. I went to my room, took out my
wedding ring, placed it carefully on my left ring finger, and waited…and waited…and
waited. The pain never came! I looked at my hand and stretched my fingers
out then curled them to make a fist…without pain. I tried writing, and I could write! I tried typing, and I could type…I’m once
again left-handed!! Did I say God is
AMAZING?!
I’ve asked God many times over the last several months why
I still have some pain and some RSD symptoms when I know without doubt that He
worked miracles in my body. He finally
let me see the reason just a couple hours BEFORE I was asked to give this
testimony at Retreat. The reason: the mild remaining pain and few symptoms
remind me of where God brought me from.
And I can continue to walk in faith.
Psalm 23:3-4 (NLT)
He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name.
Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.
He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name.
Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.
Since the writing the article in 2014 about my healing, God has continued to do amazing things in my life. He has allowed me to do little things that I couldn't do for all those years of not being able to use my left hand. I cry every time I peel potatoes, because it's something I couldn't do and God has allowed me to do now, I'm so thankful for all of the things He's done!
I'm now learning to play the piano and the guitar! I will continue to proclaim that My God is AMAZING!!